My focus is the week that I have had as a new Mummy to be. I'm sure your sick of hearing about children and babies and pregnancies etc...no? No, me neither, and everyone has a different experience right? I was doing ok up to now...so whats gone wrong? Anxiety! Not the 'woe is me' kind of thing where I'm going to sulk and moan but the kind of anxiety that apparently every mum to be will feel, even if she has done it before. I thought I was immune! I've done this before and I know what to expect so what's the worry?
I started this week feeling particularly hormonal. I couldn't be doing with Monday and when hormonal turned into feeling a bit unwell, I gave up on Monday as soon as it started....I wish. I work on a Monday afternoon so with two little munchkins to look after, I plastered on my 'fun' face and got on with the day. Luckily I had a bit of time to recover at my weekly crafts group and got my fix of crafts and great company. Straight to bed when I was home but I woke up with the same feeling of being under a bit of a cloud on Tuesday as well as some PGP issues returning.
It dawned on me that my first pregnancy, spent till week 36 in an air conditioned office where I could take regular breaks from my desk to stay comfortable, was actually not a bad way to do it. Being at home with a 21month old (sometimes x3) is a different story. I can hear all the mummies now screaming 'BUT EVERY WOMAN WITH MORE THAN ONE HAS BEEN PREGNANT AND HAD A CHILD'. Yup, agreed. I'm not one to compare so I'll continue. I have found it quite difficult being pregnant and having Baby B 24/7. I am at least an hour away from friends and family so I can't have regular breaks and yeah I could probably get out a bit more than I do but everywhere involves a bus trip and for the first three/four months I could barely leave the house for sickness and following my miscarriage last year I was terrified of doing anything that might upset things (even though I knew I couldn't cause anything). This all played on my mind a bit on Tuesday. Previously I had thought that my only worries about Baby 2 were how Baby B would react. I had no other concerns. I would just have an extra being to look after right? Nothing would change.
How wrong I was. On Tuesday evening, Hubby B brought up the conversation about a new car. He is so tall he cannot physically have a car seat behind him in our Corsa so we need a new one before September. He is due to be abroad three times before then and we only realistically have a few weekends to do this with weddings/birthdays in the schedule....Oh the pressure. We don't like pressure. So Tuesday night I went to bed and I cried. Actually, a second Baby is going to change a lot for us. Maybe not for everyone but for us it does. Why didn't anyone tell me!!! Oh the drama.
Wednesday was a busy work day and I started to realise that my not feeling well was actually starting to feel a bit like a blood pressure issue. I had low very low blood pressure with Baby B. The midwife has suggested low iron as I have anaemic tendencies and had very low iron count after Baby B's birth. I started to dwell a bit on what was wrong instead of right and vowed Thursday would be a better day.
On Thursday, I still had some anxiety about everything that would need to be thought about and organised before D-Day. Damn my being laid back and thinking that I had nothing to do and when the hell would we change the rooms around when I am already the size of a.........WAIT! Thursday was my calm down and chill out day. My appetite has been extremely poor as has my diet and I know deep down that actually I have been neglecting myself for the sake of making sure Baby B, Hubby B, my clients and others afar have what they need from me. On Thursday I did a bit of admin, did my normal house chores and basic Mummy duties but aside from that I did nothing. Hubby B came home and I cleared off for a soak in the bath. I did of course make sure our dinner was ready to go first and Baby B was fed and ready for bed!
Today I started the day with a huge drink with an iron supplement in the hope that this will start me on the road to feeling much better. I am pretty sure my low mood and anxieties are due to my feeling just plain rubbish. Although I have managed to finally tackle my ironing pile today, I have done little else and Hubby B is bringing steak home tonight in an attempt to boost my iron some more. Yummy.
I am looking forward to a visit from a friend over the weekend and Baby B is currently obsessed with 'Dad, Dad....Dad' so hopefully, Daddy and Uncle C will be the entertainment committee for the weekend and I will have a chance to pop my feet up, crochet my blanket and drink some nice smoothies. I'm sure by Sunday I will be back to my positive self again...if I could just shift the headache.
Anyone who knows me will know that this is not my normal self. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE a good moan, but generally our house is full of positive laid back energy, fun, love and being 'buzzy' (sorry couldn't resist). I am putting this week down to feeling unwell and the realisation that I do have a few things to prepare in only a handful of free weekends. There's no real panic though, because realistically, all Bumpleton needs when he arrives is, Mummy, Daddy, Baby B and maybe some nappies. If we don't get the car in time, I'll treat Hubby B to a bus journey home ;-)
Happy Friday and have a fab weekend,
Mrs Crafty B
p.s. Here's one of Baby B when he was tiny :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment